Case Study: Using Curiosity for Conflict Resolution in Divorce

 

Introduction 
Divorce can be challenging and emotionally draining, particularly when there are a lot of conflicts. When couples fight and argue, reaching an amicable agreement beneficial to both parties can be difficult. This case study examines applying the Curiosity Theory as a conflict resolution strategy in divorce.

Case Description 
John and Sarah had been married for ten years and had two children. They had been experiencing marital problems for some time, and eventually, they decided to get a divorce. Before meeting with an attorney, they worked out everything except two issues, property division, and spousal support.

John and Sarah tried to resolve these issues independently, but their discussions always ended in arguments and accusations. They felt frustrated, stuck, and unable to move forward. They decided to seek the help of a mediator to assist them in reaching a settlement agreement.

Mediation Process 
During the initial mediation session, the mediator...

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The difference between the Man that Struggles and the Man that THRIVES after divorce.

Uncategorized Dec 18, 2022

This weekend I posted a question in a Divorced Men’s Group. The question was “What’s the difference between the Man that Struggles and the Man that THRIVES after divorce?” 

Here are the top answers:

Live for you!

  • Start with forgiveness.
  • Remember what makes you happy, and do it.
  • Start living for yourself (it’s ok to be selfish)
  • Since I’ve really focused on my own healing and loving myself, I’ve been a lot happier.

Quit looking back:

  • Move on and move forward.
  • Quit feeling sorry for myself.
  • No one cares. Get better or get bitter.
  • Work on yourself, and keep moving forward.
  • Our kid(s) need us. Even if some don't understand.

Focus & Mindset 

  • You can’t change the circumstances however you can always change your story around the circumstances. I chose happiness and new beginnings.
  • Embrace acceptance
  • Determination over sorrow 

Move On!

  • Letting go of blame allows you to move on.

Have a Support System

  • Never be in a...
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Your Prior Best Becomes Your New Baseline!

Uncategorized Dec 12, 2022

As I reflect back on my weekend and why I run Spartan Races, there are a few reasons, and I was hoping they could inspire you in your life.

First off, what is a Spartan Race?
It is an obstacle course race (OCR) in the mountains or a stadium. They vary from 5k with 20 obstacles to 50k with 50 obstacles. It’s incredibly intense and very hard. The obstacles can change from race to race, but they are mostly Monkey Bars, Rope Climbs, Heavy Bag Carry, Atlas Stone 80lbs Carry, A-Frame Climb, and Tire Flipping. The running part is measured by distance and elevation gain. 

This weekend’s race was
5k 
20 obstacles (I complete 17 out of 20)
Temp: 50 degrees
Raining (I loved that!)
Lots of mud!! (I loved that too!) 

It was awesome!!

The bottom line for me... It’s HARD, Real HARD!
That’s why I do it… 

The way I see it is I’m raising the bar for my life. Whenever I complete a race or workout, that best job becomes my new baseline. So, the next...

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Rediscover your mojo after divorce and thrive

podcast Oct 30, 2022
 

Rico Caveglia's Fearless Aging is about why and how to live a long healthy, fit, energetic, and vital life and never be OLD at any age!

Our guest has a unique and effective process for working through and letting go of the stress and lack of self-confidence to transform your awareness and become your best self. You can check out his new workshop @ mensbreakthrough.com and receive a free audio book of his best-selling book - The Curiosity Theory @ thecuriositytheory.com.

Story of writing the Curiosity Theory Book

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Curiosity Provides Opportunity

coach curiosity Jul 08, 2022

The Curiosity Theory is a Breakthrough System designed to navigate and give a positive direction to the 60,000+ thoughts human beings have daily. It’s no secret that our minds run mostly on auto pilot and that 90% of our daily thoughts are duplicates and repeating patterns of yesterday. 

For the most part, this is a good thing. 

However, suppose you bypass critical or conscious thinking because you don’t want to be troubled, spend time, or burn calories. Chances are, you will miss out on the opportunities that curiosity provides. That is the power to understand, problem solve, and strategize. Therefore, you will be left reliving your past in thought, action, and results.

An often-overlooked part of the process is you operate according to an internal dialogue of questions and answers designed to provide the information you need to make the best decisions for yourself. Curiosity offers you the ability to view the choices you have in life and make the most...

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Courage is the Willingness..

coach courage morning notes Jun 01, 2022
 

 Courage is the willingness to Do what you have to do, To Be who you want to be!

☀️ It could be a Spartan Race.
- The willingness to train for it.
☀️ A phone call to repair a broken relationship. - The willingness to pick up the phone first.
☀️ Or pushing through a tough day.
- The willingness to see it through.

Courage comes in many shapes and sizes.
I’m curious, where are you willing to push your courageous limits today, so you can have the life you want?


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Why Do Men Cry?

 

Over the last 10 years, I had experienced many emotions. I was willing to do what I needed to grow and heal. I found myself unhappy in my marriage. So, I sought out therapy and then medication.

As I became stronger in therapy I no longer wanted or felt the need for medication. I was convinced that I could work through the energy myself and heal what I needed to heal in order to live a life of happiness.

I relied heavily on my USM training in Spiritual Psychology. In Spiritual Psychology, they say, You have earned the right to deal with this challenge.” I really liked that idea and I do my best to use it as often as I can.

So, here’s what happened:
15 years ago
- I was experiencing depression. it was caused by the pressures of work, home and raising children.
3 years ago (after I was separated): I worked through the depression and then FEAR showed up.  And then recently I saw it was all anchored in Stress. The years of business, winning and losing,...

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Build Human Connection and Rapport

 

In the first step of the Progressive Cycle, we introduce the Respect & Safety Stage. Here is where you start to build Human Connection and Rapport with others.

Respect and Safety are fundamental to conversations and create the first level of comfort and openness.  At this point, you will find that people start to share what’s truly important, the stuff that makes a difference.

I want to encourage you this week to generate that space of Safety & Respect in all your interactions and let me know how it turns out.

Connect to Your Needs

Give yourself a reason to listen: What needs of yours are met by listening?

Connect to Your Feeling

What is it going to feel like when you meet your needs for listening? 
Here is where most people get lost - (Call me to clarify)

WIIFM

What's In It For Me?
Do it for yourself, so you win, and
then take that win to others so they win as well.

Here's to your ongoing success - Martin

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I’m sure you have some big goals for 2022

Uncategorized Jan 03, 2022
 

To Achieve Our Goals In Life We Need....
  Emotional Stamina - The ability to stay in the game longer and stronger.
  Self-Expression – Having the energy to say what you need to say, how you need to say it. All while inspiring and empowering others to be great too.
  Living your Purpose – Doing what you love, what you’re great at, and what the world needs from you.

As you know I put together a groundbreaking workshop called Men’s Breakthrough Challenge – powered by curiosity

Designed to help Men!
Men ONLY!
Get More Out of Life!

Being a man in today’s world isn’t easy, we all need support.

Please join me this weekend

[MensBreakthrough.com]

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It Almost Broke Me!

Uncategorized Oct 19, 2021
I’ve been on the mountain for over 2 ½ hours
Climbing over 1760 feet and down 1700 feet total gain.
On a ski resort starting at 7,000 ft elevation
Slopes from 36% - 48% (very steep)
16 obstacles behind me!
I’ve completed 14
Failed 2
I’m thirsty
Cold
Hungry
Out of energy
I mean way out of energy
I can see the finish line.
Ingrid says “No Way”
As we approach the Bucket Climb
The hurdle we need to complete
Carry an 80 lbs. bucket up 250 feet
mostly 40% angle
Turn around and walk back
I quietly agree with Ingrid
Let’s just move on
We can get the next three and be done.
It will take us 5 more minutes.
I have no idea how long it will take me to climb up and back down again.
Maybe 15 minutes & can I even do this?
The dominant thought in my head is
“There is no way!”
this thought connects to another
“You’re too tired”
and another
“F!”
then slight Fear
Then sadness
Then confusion
This is how...
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